Who Do You Love?

My fiancé and I were watching TV and a commercial for John Stewart’s show came on. It was then that she professed her love for him…and for Dermot Mulroney…and for Matthew McConaughey. I was incensed! Who was this woman sitting next to me and where was the one that looked at me like I was the most wonderful man in the world. I stuttered and stammered for a moment and finally was able to attain rational thought again. I figured that she was mostly joking…mostly. Seriously though, I’m a confident person but realize that when comparing the tangible attributes, between myself and the aforementioned individuals, I fall a little short. Hell, there are plenty of wealthier, younger and better looking people than me in real life, let alone in Hollywood. I’m okay with that because I know I have a lot to offer and I think my strong suit is in intangibles like caring, compassion, a strong work ethic, integrity and sense of humor (and that’s to mention anything about my prowess in the bedroom…lol…I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist throwing that in there). My love sent my mind to work again when she asked me if there were any famous people that I loved. Hmm….there’s plenty of famous people that I find attractive, but none that I ever used the word “love” to describe. Then an unlikely person came to mind.
I thought about that female carpenter from the show Trading Spaces; I think her name is Amy. She isn’t what you would describe as stunning, but she is so damn handy with a circular saw. I imagined a conversation over coffee on a Saturday morning, going something like this:
Me: I was just thinking, we could really use some shelves in the laundry room.
Amy: Yeah, I think you’re right. First I have to finish hand carving the mahogany entertainment center then I’ll get right on it.
Me: You rock.
Amy: No, you rock.
Me: No, you rock.
Amy: No, you rock.
Okay, you get the picture. Then I started getting an uneasy feeling about this fictional relationship. I mean I don’t think I’m ready for “his” and “hers” hand tools. Then I started to foresee additional problems like her berating me for failure to properly lubricate my air tools or the disheveled appearance of my rollaway tool box. Plus, I secretly enjoy doing handy stuff around the house; it kind of makes me feel important. So, I don’t think this thing would work out. I guess there are truly no famous people that I love. Besides, when your about to marry a beautiful, sexy, extremely intelligent, and fun loving woman, who just happens to be a talented romance writer; what can compare to that?
So…who do you love?

Injustice!

There’s a sort of rivalry amongst the armed services. Obviously, being a member of the Air Force would cause me to be biased to which one I feel is the best and truthfully that’s not debate I would choose to take part in anyway. I will say that each service has a unique mission and they all perform their assigned missions superbly. However, there is an area where services are not all equal, and that is Hollywood.
Think about the movies depicting the various armed services and you will see there is a great disparity. For example, the Navy scored big with the ever popular Top Gun. The Army and Marines have several excellent movies like Heartbreak Ridge, Full Metal Jacket, and Blackhawk Down just to name a few. But can you name any Air Force movies that aren’t totally cheesy? No! We get jewels like Iron Eagle. It did have an 80’s-riffic soundtrack though. So if any filmmakers are listening (or reading) out there, please do your part to correct this injustice.

Gender Assignment For Your Vehicle?

So there I was, driving down the highway, when I noticed something hanging from underneath the pick-up truck in front of me. I got closer to see what it was and, low and behold, it was a set of nuts! Yep…testicles, balls, the two boys, family jewels, or whatever you choose to call them; this truck had a pair. I’m not sure how widespread this phenomenon is, but I have spotted a few other vehicles that are apparently “males”. I consider myself a bit of a northern redneck because I was born and raised in a rural northeastern town, where hunting and fishing was the major source of entertainment and a nice pickup truck was the vehicle of choice. So I understand the tendency to customize a vehicle especially with something functional (ex. bug deflector or mud tires) or with an emblem of your quarry or conservation group of choice. But, I just can’t see the sense of placing a replication of, arguably the least attractive part of the male anatomy, on one’s vehicle.
Now, two questions come to mind.
1. How did something like this find its way to a retailer?
I envision a brainstorming session at a major truck accessory supplier. All the brightest market research analysts are present and they lock themselves in a room determined to find the next big trend in vehicle accessories. After hours of debating, Bob stands up and says “I’ve got it. We’ll make rubberized testicles that can be attached to any vehicle to give it the manly touch.” The room breaks out in applause and Bob is awarded the employee of the month and gets a nice fat $15,000 bonus, for thinking “outside the box” or maybe “inside the pants” in this case.
2. The next question, what compels someone to actually spend the time and money to utilize this accessory?
Again, I envision a man named Cooter, who just spent thousands of dollars buying every truck accessory offered in a J.C. Whitney catalog. Cooter drives his highly modified “pride and joy” over to his friend Bubba’s house to show off his new ride. Bubba says “Truck looks good, it’s just not manly enough for my tastes, and it’s missing something. Cooter, I think your truck could use some balls.” And the rest, as they say, is history.

INTRODUCTION

I’d like to take an opportunity to tell you a little about myself. I’m a very proud father of 2 great girls (ages 8 and 12). My official marital status is "divorced" but I'm actually engaged to the most amazing woman who is an erotic romance writer and fellow blogger (she actually talked me into creating this blog). She has the coolest two year old boy whom I’m excited to claim as my stepson. I’m an aircraft mechanic in the Air Force. I’ve been in for over 16 years and had the privilege of seeing some great places and experiencing some very rewarding opportunities. I also spent a lot of time in some not so great places (ex. Saudi Arabia 5 times). I’m an avid ice hockey fan and actually play in a league if I’m not helping tend to sick kids or the myriad of other things that pop up when you have a blended family and 5 people living under the same roof. Those small personal sacrifices are well worth it, I love my family and life is good. I hope you enjoy my blog and I welcome your feedback.